1st dates

So I've come to the conclusion that I am very good at the 1st date. In fact I'm better then good, I'm a master. I have had a ton of great first dates, but after that it is all down hill.

So I'd like to analyze exactly what the 1st date is within the theme of the cereal analogy. In this analogy the 1st date is the equivalent of looking at the cover of a box of cereal you're thinking about buying. You don't really get much out of it, it's true. You do get an idea of what it might taste like, but only faintly. You don't know for sure how it would really taste and the worst part is that you don't know if there are any prizes inside until you take it home and open it up.

After dating someone for a while you really get a taste for their personality. You also get to know their nutritional facts, are they really good for you?

I must have a great cover on my box, and hence I tend to have great 1st dates, but I also think that what is in my box is great too. The sad thing is that I really don't get opened up too often. And so it is that after the 1st date I struggle. I think that once someone picks me up off the shelf for a closer look I get terrified that they will do what so many people before them have done and put me back on the shelf while they pick another box of cereal to take home instead. If boxes of cereal could talk I'd probably sound like a salesman as I fought to sell myself, "I'm full of crunch berry goodness, and I'm good for you too, don't shelf me!"

So I've thought about it, and while I tend to be interested in one girl at a time (like right now), I think that I will ask out some other girls too. Heck, I might as well go on some more 1st dates. I mean it can't hurt, right? I figure that if nothing else it'll create more options in my mind and that will make things tons easier. Think of it this way, I'll have two, three, or maybe even more people checking out the cover of my box instead of just one. That makes my chances better ... I think. Ah hell, I don't know! I'm the closest thing to a dating expert that I know of and I haven't got a freakin clue. Let me tell you a little secret, if anybody ever claims to be an expert at dating then you can be assured that they are full of crap.

So let me step out of the analogy for a minute. I guess I just get my hopes up a lot after having a great time with a girl. I feel like things are different between us, and that in some way we are closer. The thing is we're really just the same, only a little wiser I suppose. I have been hurt a lot, and so without meaning to I get scared that it will happen again. I remember the pain and to one extent or another feel it again. All this happens before I really even have any reason to feel it, but I still do. For a long time I thought I was weird for feeling this way, but I have talked to a lot of friends when they have gone through these kinds of trials, and as it turns out it isn't all that odd. When you get hurt by someone you remember the pain. In the cases of broken hearts when you remember the pain you feel it again to some degree or another.

So when I date I feel the pains of the past to some degree or another, and so in a lot of cases I just feel paralyzed. I'm getting better though, and that's good, but I think that's why I have a hard time with first dates. I get my hopes up, and I remember the pain. I hope that makes sense.