Not sure

I'm tired in a very deep way. I think the monotony of life is very draining sometimes. I know I get into habits and while most habits are good they can drive you crazy after a while. In the past I've been terrified of change and now I want it but am very rarely sure how to actually make it happen. I'm going with the write what's on my brain method but without any filters. I'm not sure why I'm writing but just feel like I need to. I need an outlet and I think I haven't used it for so long.

It just seemed like it was time for a new paragraph, but what is there to say? I wanted and looked forward to change a lot when I got back from San Antonio. It was like waking up from a dream and planning out my day. I had this list of things, and some of the things got done but others are slowly slipping away. Some things were important and others are not. I had this life of adventure all planned out. I don't think things are horribly bad, just frustrating at times.

On the positive side I got the employee of the month for July. I think it's cool to get some recognition. I really work hard every day and week to get things done and to communicate things to my agents. I've made a lot of friends this last year at Overstock.com and in a lot of ways I'm very different then who I was a year ago. I wish I could say that expanded further then my occupation. I guess I was kind of forced into it at work, I had to develop a lot of different skills to succeed at my current position. I've had a lot of hard days at work, plenty of days where I just felt overwhelmed. I've also had days when I just loved work. Most days I love my job and the people I work with.

I had a fiance for a while, I'm glad I'm single now but being single means I'm not married, which in turn means I have to date again. It's annoying as hell, the whole thing. For a while the world seemed open but slowly as you have less and less options (cause I don't know where to meet girls) you lose hope. I'm not depressed but the prospect of dating isn't exciting like it was. I guess I should change how I look at it and fix the one thing that bugs me, meeting someone I can ask out.

I'm too tired to keep writing, this is all blah blah blah anyways ;-).