It's over

She called me today finally and we talked. It kind of all comes down to different views on life. Hilarie wants 10 million rules and wants to keep every last one of them strictly, and that mode of thinking drives me crazy and I told her I can't live with someone that anal. We actually talked things out fairly calmly. She said I wasn't validating her feelings, which was to some extent true, but I told her that a lot of that was because she hadn't communicated any problems to me.

She was still mad about the PDA and J walking thing, but I told her once I fully understood it I didn't do it. She was still mad even after I explained this and I told her not to harp on something that I had no control over.

I asked her what she thought I could do better so I'd feel like there was some progression. She told me to validate people's feelings more, that's something I thought I was already good at but I guess nobody is perfect. I let her know that in the future she should communicate her feelings more openly. I guess she got so into these rules she felt like me being rebellious and all was being very disrespectful and invalidating her feelings. I just thought I was being me but sometimes we hurt people without meaning to.

I also apologized for being so rebellious while I was down there and explained why I was. I just don't do too well when people tell me what to do. I made sure she knew I was proud of her. At one point she made it sound like we were going to wait and try and work it out, but I told her I was under the impression it was over. I told her early on that I couldn't live with someone that anal about so many things. I know some rules are good, but I'm of the opinion that most rules are meant to be broken and freaking out every time you break a rule, even the silly small ones, is a stressful way to live.

Figuring out the ring money was fun. We had a bit of a tissle over that but we calculated it all out. She told me I could keep my ring but I told her I had no desire to try and pass that one over on my future wife. I'm sure most girls wouldn't be too happy about that, "I already have a ring from my last fiance honey. Isn't that great? We can totally save money this way."

Well Chuck is a bachelor again. I guess I could have waited it out and seen what happens. I do think this last weekend was a chance to see Hilarie at her worst and while there are some things I can live with this is not one of them. I'm really glad I had the trip so I could figure it out. I also got a lot of non silly fiance related insight at various points.

I'm not totally sure where to go from here.