Update

Well I figured I'd give you an update on what has happened since Tuesday night. Tuesday night was the scariest for sure, but we found her and even though she was a little bit crazy she was alright.

They found out she is allergic to codine and that was causing some problems. She had taken some cough syrup and this had really been messing her up. When I saw her on Wednesday night she was herself again. She was weak but definitely improving. She went home Thursday morning and I stopped by to see how she was doing and then took Tony home. Everything seemed great and things were definitely looking up.

By that time I was feeling the stress of the week and just wanted to have a Saturday to sleep in and stop worrying and just have an emotional day off. My mom had a friend staying with her on Friday night so I was especially at peace. I woke up to my phone ringing Friday morning and my mom needed a blessing. She said Satan was taking over and she needed a blessing to get him to go away. I wasn't exactly myself when I received that startled call and told her she'd be fine. She said she'd call someone else and I tried to fall back to sleep. Half the reason I wasn't able to storm out was because I was completely out of it having been startled awake, the other half was that I really couldn't give her a blessing at this time. At any rate I think if you feel bad spirits you have all the tools you need to get rid of them on your own. I really don't want to get into that much though so we'll move on now.

I figured she'd be ok because ... well I just did. I got waken up by another call that morning and tried to get back to bed again. I finally woke up and started to get ready when I got a call from my sister in law saying my mother had gone into the hospital ... really, for no good reason. Her legs had swollen a little because she was retaining water. She wasn't herself at all she was mad at everybody for not storming down to the hospital to see her for a minor reason. She demanded that she move in with one of us, which isn't possible for any of us. She also refused to go home. She also talked about breaking up with Tony (not to him but to my sister in law) and that's one of the things that worried me the most. Tony is the best thing to ever happen to her and she knows it, so that right there let me know she wasn't exactly herself.

Last night I couldn't get a hold of her. She was ok so I just went about my day and tried to enjoy it as best as I could while dealing with all the stress from the day. It didn't help that her friend that stayed with her thought my brothers and I were bad sons since we didn't rush to the hospital for this. Let me tell you something, that's bullshit. I have been there every second of this week up until last night. I'm emotionally spent and quite honestly close to my breaking point. I don't have anybody to come home to at night, I just come home to my thoughts and though I try to distract myself I keep on reliving things in my head. I really just can't handle this any more and I keep on hoping it's over but it hasn't ended yet.

Last night I got another call and my mom had basically lost it again. She's more delirious and crazy then she was Tuesday night. I heard it from Tony and I trust him. They put in her the psych ward this morning, my mom has basically lost her mind and thinks she's a kid again from what I hear. I got a call from her but didn't dare answer it, I just needed some sleep. I listened to the voicemail and it was her, she did sound pretty crazy and asked me and my brothers to take care of her cat. But she was not herself.

Anyways I needed some sleep and had to put my phone on silent so I could. Every now and again I'd wake up and see who had called and check my voicemails. I just woke up now and I'm going to see her.

I just want everybody to know how hard this is for me. I feel like I have this barrel of emotional energy and it's bone dry right now. I just feel like taking a week off of work and sleeping, but I can't. I totally have to go back to work tomorrow.

I'm going to get ready and go see her now. I'm going to be a good son instead of the bad one I was yesterday (being sarcastic, no worries). Heaven help me and my family.