Juggling knives

I’ve had a decent week in all but one category, dating. I had a date for Wednesday that got cancelled at the last minute by her. She wasn’t feeling well I guess. That’s fine, I took it with a grain of salt and did something else. Just so you know even if you are sick that excuse just feels like a cop out to us. I’m not saying I expect a sick girl to go out with me every time, but I’ve had that excuse a few times this year already. The girl that said that is the one who called me up asking if we could hang out sometime, and every time I’ve tried she has avoided it. That confuses the hell out of me, but since I don’t have my heart into it I’m ok with it. I haven’t liked somebody since Holly, so I don’t feel like I’ve had anything to lose emotionally speaking.

Monday I got the number of a different girl. I didn’t think I’d ask her out this week but I found my Saturday night free so I called her up to ask her out. I was surprised when she said she was feeling sick and didn’t think she’d be up to it. This wouldn’t surprise me too much if it had been the same day I was asking her out for, but it was two whole days earlier. It feels like a cop out again, but I took it with a grain of salt again and told her it was no big deal and we could do something some other time.

At a different point in my life I would have just said “screw it” and given up on the whole damn endeavor. However right now I’m just going to keep on trying. I’ve got a few girls I’ve either been out with or am planning on taking out. It’s hard to figure things out. I went out with Danise three times and thought there was not much potential there, even though she’s beautiful and awesome. Now after going out with other girls (or trying to) I wish I could go out with Danise, at least she had some sense.

I hate dating. It’s like juggling sharp knives. You focus so hard on trying to catch them by the handle so you won’t get stabbed with the blade. It takes quite a bit of finagling to do that. Just when you think you’ve got it down you get cut with one knife or another.

Right now it’s really hard for me to know which girls to pursue and which ones not to. I see potential with a lot of these girls, but I don’t know how best to pursue it. I really wish I knew how Danise felt. I’m not 100% sure how I feel about her, but how many people are 100% sure of anything before they pursue it? I think if I get the chance and I’m brave enough I should really talk to her. I have nothing to lose by doing so, and quite possibly a lot to gain.

I just hope that something with one of these girls will work out already. I am tempted to take a prolonged dating vacation, but think it best not to do so at this time.