Fireworks and stars

I saw an awesome firework show tonight. I should preface this by stating that I had a fairly bad day where I didn’t do as well as I could, I just had a bad day and was feeling depressed by it all. It’s only normal to have one now and again. We all do, but I get real down on myself and that often turns bad days into bad weeks or months. I’m not sure I can handle going through another bad phase right now.
I was feeling kind of depressed as I watched this firework show. They played patriotic music as we listed to it, and also some other non patriotic songs. I was listening to one of my favorite songs life is a highway, the version from cars. It made picture a road with no limits, essentially freedom. It made me want to cry, that’s how we’re supposed to feel. But we limit ourselves in so many ways and restrict that freedom, that agency. We do it when we sin, and when we get tied down one way or another, such as debt. I realized that I’m not that far from that freedom that I crave so much. I have to get some bills paid off and then I could hit the road almost any weekend, and just so you know being able to do so is total paradise to me. I just love the idea of being able to go anywhere for a few days. I’ve been looking for someone to go with me but as I felt these feelings of the road surge through me I realized that it’ll be easier to do that now while it’s just me. I’m not saying I’ll put off marriage for that, but why not embrace what I have?
I heard another patriotic song and it was talking about the men who died to make us free. I thought not of the patriots who sacrificed their lives so we could be free but rather the Savior who sacrificed his life and more for me. He is the reason we are not bound by our agency. He is the reason I can have a lousy day like this where it feels like I make so many stupid mistakes and still feel free. That road is still there and I’m going to drive it again and again and again.


It’s almost funny because while the fireworks were going off my thoughts were in a different dimension. I was thinking of some amazing things that really touched me to the core and the fireworks didn’t seem like anything all that spectacular at the time. I was more breath taken with the stars half hidden by the smoke from the fireworks. I felt like I was in a different world then everybody around me, it made me feel unique, and that added to my feelings of freedom.