Is it just me?

I’m feeling a little sad. Initially you’ll wonder why I’m sad but I’ll get to that eventually. I’ve had a very good week dating wise. In fact I went on three dates and they were all fun. One of them stands out as quite magnificent in my mind actually. I wish that I could have that much fun and feel that comfortable with girls more often.

Today I went to a (girl) friend's homecoming and was able to catch up with some old friends and make some new ones as well. I think I like this girl as well as Holly, although for some unexplained reason my heart belongs to Holly. I also got talking to this girl’s friend and she seems very nice. It was one of those conversations you don’t really want to end. Although I’m not sure that I am interested in her, she may be in me now.

So I’ve had a great week and have no reason to feel anything but good right? Well I called Holly to see if she was free this week and she said she thought she was free Wednesday night, but she’d have to check and call me back tomorrow. I hate that I like this girl so much that I am almost hurt because I was not able to talk to her longer. HOW CAN I BE SO STUPID EMOTIONALLY?

Seriously I don’t want to like somebody like this because it just hurts to like them this much. Can any of you relate? I wish I had some way of understanding how to work through these crazy emotions.

I’m doing things different this time. In the past when I’ve liked a girl I have done nothing but go after them. This time I’m smart enough (cause I learn from my mistakes) that I know I need to date lots of people. I probably won’t be dating just for fun, but I will definitely be going on a lot of dates if only to keep myself from going mad.

It just hurts to like somebody so much and … well that’s just it, it just hurts to like somebody a lot. I can’t even explain what it is that I’m feeling. It’s this incredible desire to be with this person that I can’t quite explain because I really don’t know her that well. Anyways I’m going to be a good boy and keep my heart open to new possibilities. There are a few “possibilities” that I am rather fond of.