The older we get

I was listening to the radio and had to laugh when the line was sung “I love you so much I keep on wishing there were two of you.” I laughed because I immediately stopped singing and shouted, “Hell I wish there was even one of you!” It made me laugh.

I have to say that the older I get the more I think there is something seriously wrong with me. I mean nothing works in the dating category of my life and hasn’t for a while. In a lot of ways I feel like I have less and less confidence as I get older and still have no success in the romantic fields of life. I love that as I share these feelings of hopelessness I can hear all the reassurance my friends and family would give. “She’s out there” and “You just haven’t found her yet” and all the nice but also cliché crap people say all the time. It is nice to have friends who care enough to try though, so I won’t complain.

The closest thing I have to being a father are my nieces and nephews. Foremost among them are Sydney and Savannah. I love those little girls so much it’s not even funny, Vannah always loves me back but Sydney is picky sometimes. I have to say that I’m a streak with her lately though, she’s loved me a ton lately! I was watching them the other day and they were both laughing so hard they started to spit their juice out and they kept on doing it, it would have been disgusting if I had not moved away to avoid it. Savannah was on the floor literally laughing, or I should say giggling. I think it was the cutest thing I have ever seen because the more one of them giggled the more the other would as well.

Now it’s great to hear “you just haven’t found her yet” but in my heart I feel like I have “found her” so many times already that to continue searching feels hopeless at times. I am getting a late start on my family, or so it feels in comparison to my brothers and many of my friends.

I had a job interview today and have applied a few other places. I am waiting on calls back from these places to see what they say. It’s interesting that I’m also waiting for calls back from different girls for similar reasons. I just can’t get away from the games of life.