Give me some milk

Though I strive to be the super man of bachelorhood I am at heart a romantic. Many of the sad situations I have been in have made it hard for me to believe in love. I think that most of us have felt this way at one time or another. I have felt it many times myself. When your heart is broken you develop a callus to help protect it the next time. After having this happen a few times I have turned a bit bitter. I hide behind an unfeeling heart, and lie about my expectations. Having said this it may be easier to see why I don’t believe in love, it's just easier then trying and getting hurt again. I want love. I read books and I watch movies about men and women being in love, and when I do I think “I want that.” I act like I don’t as a defense, but it's a lie.

Being in love is quite an abstract piece of thinking for me. I have very few examples in my life of a man and woman in love, it’s quite sad when you think about it. So what is it? I’ll try to piece that together as I go. The older I get the less I think I need to be in a relationship, in a marriage. I’m a pretty independent person at this stage in my life. So how could I go from being fine on my own to needing someone? Maybe I’d just meet her and know right away, but I doubt it. I think that many of the delusions of romance have died away as I have gone along. I don’t believe in love at first sight, maybe lust, but not love. I think you have to really know someone to love them, and you can’t really know someone at first sight, or really even at first conversation.

Love takes time, and that’s the answer to this riddle of mine. How could an independent guy like myself fall in love? Time. It’ll take some time, that’s all. At first I won’t even know I need her, I’ll just know that I feel better when I'm around her. See I feel fine alone now, but when she’s around it’ll feel better. It’ll be as if I had added a glass of milk added to my package of oreos. Personally, I think oreos are fine on their own, but they’re heaven with milk. And that’s what’ll happen, I’ll realize that while what I’ve got is great, it can be even better. I think this will happen so slowly I won’t even realize it until I lose her, either because I do something stupid (like most boys do) or because she goes away for some reason. Once I realize just how much I need her I’ll chase her down, wherever she is, no matter the distance. Then I’ll tell her that I need her, and I love her. It’ll make much more sense at that moment then it does now. Maybe I won’t lose her, but that seems to be the theme of most romantic stories.

So hopefully I’ll be able to come to terms with the fact that being independent and being single isn’t necessarily the same thing.