Concerns and ramblings

I wonder sometimes if I sugar coat things too much. I think that as I sit down I am worried about what people would think about how I feel, but really how I feel shouldn't change based on the perceptions of other people. I feel great, and at the same time instinctively apprehensive. I am trying to ignore the second part, well trying to work it out of my system.

I'm not making any long term plans or anything but things are going well with Tiff. I don't think I need to elaborate really. I just really like her. Right now I'm just taking things as they come and trying to let them come slowly when I can help it.

This always seems to be something that creeps up on me in these situations. I get myself worked up and worry when I don't need to. I'm glad it's not as bad as it used to be. I think a lot of that has to do with a new found sense of confidence from my current job. I've learned a lot of my strengths and found out I'm a pretty cool guy I guess, which is something I wouldn't have thought before. A lot of that carries over to the romantic side of my life, although it seems not all of it. I still feel very good though, at least about 95% of the time. The other 5% is still a lot better than it used to be though, I used to get nervous and worried about the situation with the girls I dated in the past, at least when I really liked them. It was a lot more like 50% of the time and instead of just being a little apprehensive back then I was really worried.

The weakest part of me is afraid and worried I'm not good enough, or she won't want me. It's cool to see the difference in the strongest part of me though. It used to reassure me that she did like me and that it would work out, however now it says something like this "I'm happy with me even if this doesn't work out." I think it's pretty cool, it doesn't mean I want to be alone though. I still want to be with someone amazing.

My train of thought derailed a minute ago as I stopped to talk to my roommate. I'm tired and yet I feel like I still have so much to say. I really am doing better than I've ever done before, and that is encouraging.

About Tiff ... she's just awesome. She keeps me on my toes and likes to try and catch me off guard. She's very laid back, I think that's one of the things I like most about her. I like that we can just play things by ear and not worry so much about the details. I always imagined things just happening and it seems like that's how it is going. At the very least I've got someone I can talk to about pretty much anything, and that's a pretty cool thing.

I'm a little too tired to make much more sense right now. I just had a little apprehension in my system I needed to work out with some music and writing. This is something I haven't done real often in the last year or so and I'd like to fix that.