Story of my life

So I kinda got sick of how things were going for Tiff. However I finally got a chance to talk to her today and basically she's not ready to be in a relationship. She still likes me but she's been in and out of relationships for years now and needs a break. I also decided I needed something she wasn't able to give before even having this conversation, although that doesn't really make it easy since I like her a lot. I'm not going to wait. I'm going to move on and do my best to find someone who can be there the way I deserve. Tiff is awesome but just not the one for me, the timing is just bad.

It's a relief, but also sad for me too. I told her I liked her and it made me sad, but I know where she's coming from and think it's a really good idea for her to just be single for a while.

I've had this sort of thing happen in the past and then a week later the girl has a boyfriend, I seriously hope that's not the case here and she's actually being honest with me. She said she likes me but it's just bad timing. Either way I'm not sticking around to find out. I just deserve someone who loves and adores me. I'm not settling for anything less any more. I can't handle being with someone that doesn't want to be with me. I think that's what I got out of this ...

All the positive stuff aside I am really just sick of this shit. I try to see the lessons in all things, but I honestly feel like there is nothing to be learned from having my heart broken time and again. It's maddening at times to think that it's really this hard for me to find the right girl when millions of people are walking around together like it isn't something incredibly special. It is by damn!

I don't want to dwell on the negative feelings more than that. I want to thank some people who've been awesome in helping me through this lately. Jamii is great and I love her to death. Jaci was a godsend today, and has been many times. Bonnie has also been a great friend. There have been others as well but those three have really been there for me and I love them to death. Thanks!