The duck story

So this is my only funny story. Me and my buddy Tracy will tell you the story together.

Chuck says:We should tell a different story, since everybody and their dog all know about the duck story. How about ... hmm ... Do we have any other funny stories?

Tracy says:umm... mainly the duck story.

Chuck says:We've been friends since 8th grade that's almost 10 years and we've only ever done 1 dumb thing together? That can't be right!

Tracy says:I can't think of anything else. Most of my friends have not heard it. I don't remember that well so I don't tell it good. When I tell it it sounds more like a you had to bethere kind of thing.

Chuck says:Alright we’ll tell it now. So me and Tracy decided it would be cool to catch a duck one night. We thought it would be funny to fill up my bathtub, put the duck in, and wait for my room mate to wake up. What time did we leave?

Tracy says:It was midnight We were waiting for him to go to bed.

Chuck says:Wow, really? We didn't get back until like 3 in the morning. So we ended up in this park full of ducks. I thought it would be as easy as walking up and grabbing one Apparently those ducks are smarter then they look, and faster too.

Tracy says:yeah we couldn't even get within about 20' of a duck.

Chuck says:So after chasing them all away we left that park and went to another park that turned out to be completely devoid of ducks. Then Tracy has this brilliant idea.

Tracy says:Let's go get my dead grandpa's duck!

Chuck says:So we headed to his grandmas house.

Tracy says:So we drive down to my grandma's house and hop the fence into the backyard.

Chuck says:This whole time we're laughing our heads off and we're saying things like "dude we are so funny, who else would be this cool, nobody!"

Tracy says:Yeah, we thought we were hilarious.

Chuck says:So we're sneaking around Tracy's Grandma's back yard at like 1 in the morning. You told me to be quiet because you didn't want to get in trouble if we woke your Grandma up.

Tracy says:Yeah, the last thing I needed was my dad to find out I was out scaring the hell out of my grandma. I mean how old were we? 20 at least

Chuck says: I had this vision of a police car showing up. That would have been embarassing. So we're wandering around the back yard trying to find this duck, and we split up.

Tracy says:I go to the garden where the duck normally was locked into at night.

Chuck says:I hear Tracy say, "damn it" or something like that. I walked over to where he was. He was pointing towards the ground. I looked down and saw this little tombstone. THE DUCK WAS DEAD!

Tracy says:Yeah, they had dug it out a little grave and there was a cross and everything! I should get a picture of it. It's still there.

Chuck says:We were hoping it was the cat or something so we wandered away fromt he garden, and the flood lights came on. We must have been really hyper because we ran for it.

Tracy says:I didn't want to get caught so I ran for it. I get to the fence and chuck hops it easily.

Chuck says:It wasn't that tall.

Tracy says:I'm a big lumbering oaf so when I climb up the fence...

Chuck says:He's a big guy

Tracy says:I hop off at the top and my shoelace gets stuck! So when I jump my leg doesn't go anywhere. I end up breaking the shoelace and hitting the ground like a ton of bricks. (literally)

Chuck says:He fell onto a rock with his back. I was trying not to laugh because I'm thinking, "Don't laugh, he might be paralyzed." I walk up to him and he can't even breath but somehow he's laughing

Tracy says:I couldn't breathe. I couldn't even see!

Chuck says:Turns out he wasn't paralyzed, because if he had been this wouldn't be a very funny story now then would it?

Tracy says:It was starting to get scary because I'm trying so hard but my lungs aren't moving.

Chuck says:After a few minutes he recooperated and we got back in the car. You'd think that after 3 miserably failed attempts at trying to catch a duck we'd have given up.

Tracy says:Not us. We've got determination!

Chuck says:I suddenly remembered that I had bread at home, and Tracy had rope in his car. So we went back home and got them. We ended up trying to sucker someducks over at the college into a rope trap. That was strike 4, but we weren't baseball fans so we didn't know any better.

Tracy says:We almost got one. But when we tried to grab the duck it got scary! It started biting.

Chuck says:So then we headed back to the park where we first started because there was a ton of ducks there. I figured that bread is to ducks as kryptonite is to Superman and we had a whole loaf it! We fed the ducks slowly so that eventually we had about 50 ducks surrounding us. After what must have been 20 minutes or so, we ran out of bread.

Tracy says:So we lunge for some ducks, but we were in awkward positions because after 20 minutes your not ready to strike anymore.

Chuck says:I had crouched and my leg had fallen asleep, and Tracy had sat down on the ground. By the time Tracy had stood up they were gone, and I was dragging a limp leg so all the ducks got away. Well, it was 3 o'clock and we gave up. I can't remember if we still thought we were funny. Maybe we just felt stupid.

Tracy says:No we thought we were funny we were planning on going out again to try our luck another night but never got around to it.

Chuck says:I told the story to my oldest brother who was a milkman at the time. A few days later he saw a duck (a sleeping duck I might add) and walked right up to it and picked it up. Then he said to himself, "idiot."